We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
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