Taylor Swift is so right about you.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
