Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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