i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize