just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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