The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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