are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
He uses pillows to masturbate.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
