I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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