I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
