I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Be still, my beating vagina.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize