morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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