I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
