whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize