god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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