So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
is it fun? or sober?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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