Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
