Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
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