so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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