As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
