You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
