Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize