So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Randomize