Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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