she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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