What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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