I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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