What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
