is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
