My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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