I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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