tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize