We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
