Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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