i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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