drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
