I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
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