She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
