I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
i now understand why vodka
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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