btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
