I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
