I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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