he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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