At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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