I wish I could teleport
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
