just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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