sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
