the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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