idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
