How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize