Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
