i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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