Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
