Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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