there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
He told me they were just razor bumps!
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
last night I used snow as a chaser
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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