so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
