i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
