Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
